Sir Jaron; An Inspiration from CCP Admission Office

November 21, 2013

Today, I’ve met a very inspiring person. I went to my current school to drop all my subjects because of my medical conditions, because my parents and my doctor advised me to stay at home, be monitored by time to time, and rest. They thought that I could be treated well by isolating myself from all stresses and pressures outside the real world.

Anyway, I’ve met this person because I was arranging my dropping documents to have a chance to refund my tuition I already paid for down payment. As I went to the admission office, I was told to wait for the director who’s in charge of signing my request.

He’s name is Jose Ronaldo ‘Jaron’ E. Agustin, Director for Admission. Of course he asked me what was my reason, so I told him. He shared his own experience. He was also diagnosed to have a Depression just like what I have, but mine is yeah, worst than his. He went for counseling, took medications and therapies. But the best part of his stories is how he helped himself to raise again. We talked for almost one a half hour. I was crying really hard while he kept on saying inspirational things about life. He even showed some quotations, medications and poems to convince me that I should continue schooling. I was with Nanay and she just sat there, allowing us to talk.

I could not detail all words he has said, but I will always be thankful that I’ve met him, that I had a chance to talk to him before I finally leave the school. He told me that he will support me and he is even willing to help me to start all over again, that I could drop in his office sometimes if I needed someone to talk to. Before we left, I told him that he inspired me more than my doctor could, then he gave me a dark chocolate flavor of Toblerene and asked me to eat it, think everything what should I do then sleep peacefully.

I am very grateful that there’s some people like him never get tired of telling and encouraging me that I should because some things will come, in God’s perfect time, that should just hold on to my faith and everything will fall out in to its right places. 

To him, Sir Jaron, thank you so much for letting me be heard your stories, to be able to met and talked to you. I am so glad that God allow us to meet, so you could inspire me. You become an eye-opener to me. God bless you more, so you could still inspire a lot of people.

Now, I talked to my family and asked for their permission to allow me to try attending classes once more. I promise this time that I will really try my best to behave and not to think for bad ideas.

I know I will survive, I know I could lift from the ground, I could be okay as long as I have my loving and very supportive family, and also, to those people who never judge and let me feel their presence. Thank you for everything.

Bangon Pilipinas; Tulong Na, Tabang Na, Tayo Na

November 13, 2013 9:04 PM

We've been watching different news in any stations, been hearing bad news and hurtful scenarios which make us cry and it all because of Typhoon Yolanda.

Other articles have already tackled the details about the said typhoon that destroyed the lives of many people in the central area of the Philippines. They've been counting and making coverage of the dead people there. They also told and explain us how it happened. That news really softens our hearts, especially us, Filipinos.

As my family witnessed the painful experience of the people in Visayas, because we’re also one of the victims of Typhoon Ondoy back in 2009, we have felt their pain and suffering. You can overhear their voices, asking for helps to all of us.

That’s why my family decides to give our simple help to them. We have talked that we will pack all our unused but usable clothes for them. We will also add diapers for the babies, sanitary napkins for the women, alcohols and others things. We will give it straight to the ABS-CBN as our donation, hopefully this coming Sunday, which happen to be my 21^st birthday.

As we planned those things, I've already asked some people to reach out their help for the victims. They really need everything that we could give. But most importantly, they need our prayers.

Let us pray for the souls of the lives who passed away because of the typhoon and the strength for their family. God didn't punish us, just like other nations thought. He loves us and He will provide. He will just let us be strong enough to face and rise again after those different tragedies. Filipino people will survive all these trials with a smile on their faces.

God bless us all. Mama Mary loves us.

Peace of Mind while Goya Chocolate in the Other Hand

November 13, 2013 9:08 AM

O yea. I’m in the school right now. My only class for this day at 7:30 in the morning up to 1:30 in the afternoon is Architectural Design 7, yet I am here in the balcony, sitting, waiting and still waiting.

I went out for a walk. I was looking for a computer shop near the area, but I found nothing. I feel so kinda bored of their class system. It’s been a week since the class opening and I haven’t meets any of my subjects’ instructors.

Earlier, I approached a man, asked and befriend him. He’s name is Isaac, a returnee student who worked for so long and then decided to study again. He’s married and has a child. He’s the first person that I've approached in my new life. We have talked about our different experiences in the field of Architecture. I was very impressed to all of his experiences in our field.

I am happy and glad that I've met and able to talked to a new person. I've just realized that I starting to like this place, the school campus, the silence, the schedule, the breeze and air, the peace I am feeling right now.

Something Changed

November 07, 2013 5:50 PM

I left the school as soon as I realized that I won’t be okay alone, went home, and then left again. I just talked to someone who had been very special to me and I just thought that he could give me good mood because I’ve been very sad and crying since this morning. But something changed.

I won’t detail the scenario here because I still wanna protect the person’s identity. We talked, we laughed just like the old times, and then something has changed.

From teasing each other, we went to the crucial part, which are the serious matters between the two of us. He talked and explains everything that we should have tackled a long time ago. I remained silent, trying to keep my tears away. But as he goes farther, the emotion went down and ate me. I cried a lot. I was crying and I just have to hold me and explain again. It was very painful. The conversation was so sad. I really got hurt. He hugged me, kissed me and told me that we have to focus on what we have right now. He is already committed and very contented to his girl. I told him I am happy for them, but I know in my heart I don’t.

He was convincing me to fight and move forward. That past is past. I was still crying when he kissed and hugged me once more.

I left the place, I still the pain, yet I feel stronger after our conversation. I won’t deny that he help me to realize something, that something has changed. That I gotta go to what my life right now.

He will always be special to me. He was my best friend and my little brother before, and then turned to be my boyfriend in the year 2010. We’ve been separated for years, but I know he will stay concern to whatever’s happening to me.

To him, thank you so much for loving me then, for understanding and accepting the real me. Thank you for making me realize that love is wonderful. I love you always.

And by the way, if you have read this post, I will tell you that his name is John Vanielle Navato.

Cleaning the Air; New Lif

November 07, 2013 9:01 AM

I’m here in the school, Central College of the Philippines. This is my first day of school as a fourth year Architecture student in this new campus.

As I woke up this morning, the first thing that comes o my mind was, I gotta leave the bed quickly, eat and prepare so I could join Bebe to her morning routine. We rode a FX, I took the train, walked from there to the overpass. I was very nervous and scared. So I was out my mind when I stepped up right foot the run of the stair, I slipped then fell down, whatta good way to start the morning, right?

I walked in the school gate, asked the guard where’s the school canteen, went to the clinic, asked by the Physician about my illness, went to the bookstore for my ID application, proceed to the Architecture Department and Registrar to give my transfer credentials, went upstairs, looked for my classroom and then, yeah, I am here, alone. Sigh.

Earlier I saw something interesting. Thank God! CCP have a ramp, consideration for those persons who have disability, which TIPQC doesn’t even provide.

I am still looking for something in this place to help me encourage going to school and pursuit my dreams, hoping for a better point of view this time.

Happy Birthday Kuya Sam!

November 05, 2013 9:56PM

I would like to make this message to be public, kasi I want the people to know how grateful I am to have a loving Kuya like you.

1. Happy Birthday. Haha.

2. May iniwan po akong maliit na cake sa pintuan nyo. Medyo trespassing lang po. Wala kasing tao. Patay ilaw. Walang sumasagot at bukas ang gate. Hehe. Pumasok na ko Kuya ha? Nilapag ko lang yung gift ko. 

3. Dumating naman po agad sila Tita at Tito kaya sinabi ko rin na ibigay nalang iyun sayo. Hehe.

4. November 5, 2013 palang. Pero gusto ko na ito i-post.

5. Matanda ka na. Haha. Akalain mong ang tanda mo na? At mas matanda ka parin sakin? 

6. Nakakatuwang isipin na ang tagal mo na sa buhay ko. Nakakatuwa.

7. I will always be proud and very happy to have someone like you. Real Kuya kita by heart. Di man tayo blood related.

8. Alam mo naman na mahal kita. Mahal ka namin. Madalas kong sabihin kila Julie at Ruby na di ko keri pag wala ka. Ayoko mang maging super dependent. Basta yung idea lang na andyan ka. Okey na ako.

9. I really admire your attitude na, you’re not scared to share your talents. You’re patience.

10. I will always be thankful to all the things we’ve share, to all those things you’ve taught, from my preparation for UPCAT, to my Advance Algebra, Trigonometry, Physics, Solid Mensuration, Differential and Integral Calculus, Strength of Materials, Theory of Structures and all other subjects. Ikaw na matalino! Hehe.

11. You used to call me “Drama Queen”, thank you for that. Haha. Di natin akalain na didibdibin ko yan at mag kaka Depression ako. Thank you for staying. For understanding me, for helping me. Sa lahat na Kuya. Maraming salamat talaga.

12. Salamat sa walang sawang pakikinig at pag babasa ng mga messages ko, alam ko busy ka. Pasensya na.

13. Thank you for loving us, for loving me, for loving all the people in Familia, for being a role model to all of us.

14. Kuya Sam, stay healthy, stay happy, you know naman na all I want for you is happiness. Peace of mind, healthy heart, good health. Hinay hinay sa mga gawain. Madalas mo atang makalimutan na tao ka at napapagod, pahinga pahinga rin pag may time ha?

15. Again, Happy Birthday. You’re one of the important man in my life. You will always be my Kuya. Mag aasawa ka man, o maunahan man kita. Haha. No choice ka na. I love you Kuya Sam! Be happy, thank you for everything and God bless. 

Realization: Life Is Good

October 27, 2013 10:10PM

Life is good. I know right. But you see, I was been blind for so long, I was been in pain and loneliness for years, that I haven’t seen the good side of it.

I had my monthly checkup last Friday, October 25, 2013 with my Psychiatrist and Neurologist, Dra Jacqueline E. Banzon in St. Victoria Hospital in Marikina. I was assigned to think to what will be my future plans, though I’m an Architecture student and I should be an expert to do planning different scenarios, I still found it very hard to deal with.

I’ve been meditating in this illness since last July. Having Severe Major Depression Disorder is really a difficult thing. You gotta understand its symptoms and signs, you have to control your thoughts and emotions and you have to hold on to the idea that life is good. It’s hard. Not all people are capable of understanding your situation. I lost some people in my life because of it, but I wouldn’t deny that I had a better point of view after this.

Life is good. I love my family, my friends, and those people who stay and believe that I could survive. But I still love those gals who broke my heart. They will always have a special part in my life. Thanks to them. I’m stronger now.

I love my family. My parents, my Nanay and Tatay, my sisters, Ate Phen, Ate Jho, Ate Yhong, Bebe, my nieces, Jade and Chacha, my nephews, Kuya Mo and Siopao, and those kuyas, Kuya Jerry, Kuya Danny, Kuya Eric. I love my one big happy family so much. They stay and help me to get through of this weakness. I love them all.

I love my friends. Kuya Sam, Julie, Sweet, Eliza, Daryl, Analyn, Janeso, Kuya Melchor, Jonas, Marvin, Ate Abby, Ruby, Bryce and others. I love them for everything, for trying to understand me. I love them all, and those people who I forgot to mention.

I love my former co-workers. Sir Alain, Rosanna, Kuya Larry, Jonas, Ren and all the people who are part of Matrix Design. I know they love me too. Thanks to them. 

I love God. I am so grateful and really thankful for all the blessings. I am also glad for those trials I’ve faced and also to those future problems I will still face.  He loves me, so He let me experience all of these things, He love me so that He also gave me so many people to love. Thank God. I love the Lord.

I love all those people who don’t feel tired of encouraging me that life is good. I love them all, thanks to them, I love life now. J